I no longer miss your kiss
Your departure caused me a lot of pain, but as time passes, I’m slowly learning that thinking about you is just a waste of time. I no longer expect you to come back and realize how much value you have lost after breaking up with me.
I’m sorry, but I can’t miss you. Now I’m fine to be alone in my room without your presence. I am happy lying in my bed without the warmth of your body because I no longer miss your kiss when I feel alone.
Every time I touch my neck, I no longer miss the warmth of your lips on it. Now I am home to be alone. I realized that your touch before speaks of urgency, not of “love”. I used to feel comfortable in the shadow of darkness after turning off the light without your arms hugging my body. I feel a lot of love compared when I’m by your side. I am experiencing a true love that is enough to be emotionally safe compared to when you are by my side.
When I wake up, I no longer feel sad. Every time I see myself in a mirror, I see a person that I lost when I chose to love you. A person who was lost for a long time and who will never be found because he will be totally drowned by the love that I once thought pure and true. The person I am seeing now is far from what it used to be, and I am deeply grateful to them. After you left me, I can see clearly and become a version of myself that I never thought I could be.
Gone are the days when I cried in my room praying for you to come back. Gone are the days when I would wake up in the middle of the night feeling severe loneliness because you are not on my side. Gone are the days when I wake up in the morning and don’t want to get up and show up because I feel like the world is betraying me.
There are no more days when I was staring at our bed thinking that you are there smiling at me. No more days in which my knees shake while I bathe in the bathroom and the water from the shower keeps coming in like the continuous flow of my tears on my face because of the heaviness that I have felt every time I miss you. No more days when I can’t eat just because I wanted you to prepare my own food like you always did when we were together.
I stop to miss you because that’s the right thing to do. When I did this, things developed slowly. I’ve seen how stupid I became because I choose to love you. I realized how you have made me the person that I am. I fell in love with you and you choose to fall out of love.
The power of your kiss no longer has an effect on me unlike before I was lost in the desert every time we kiss. I am totally free from you. What I remember most now is how lies come to your lips. How your lips are capable of passionately touching my body but in the back of your mind you are thinking of another person. I am imagining how your lips speak of adoration when we made love but those words that you have said are not for me.
I don’t miss you anymore and I’m really happy that you’re gone. Now I am glad to be alone. I feel very comfortable sleeping alone. I have more time to be alone. Your absence no longer mattered. I discovered that I can be happier without you on my side. I learned to free myself from the feelings that we have shared together. You no longer matter because what I think is myself.
I do not miss you anymore. I’m thinking of you not because I love you but because of the lesson you teach me.
Kiss me again and again but the same love that we have shared before no longer exists. I don’t miss your lips anymore because I kept going.