Try a “yes day” in negotiations
I was reading Yes Day! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Tom Lichtenheld to my three-year-old grandson, Jack. After reading it to her only once, it is now her favorite book.
The tagline is “What do you call a day when all the answers are yes?” The answer is “Yes, day!” There are questions like: 1) Can I please have pizza for breakfast? 2) Can I clean my room tomorrow? and 3) Can we stay up very late? In the real world outside of our book, the answer to such questions is usually “no,” but the book advocates saying “yes” on “Yes Day.”
The alternatives to “Yes Day” are the thirty-four ways of saying “no” as
1) “No way, Jose Day”,
2) “Day of hands on hips,
3) “Not today”,
4) When the pigs fly the day”, and
5) “Read My Lips Day.”
You get the idea. We are so programmed to say “no” that we hardly ever say “yes” anymore.
Yes Day! It is a children’s book, but it is really intended for parents and grandparents, who read the book to children. They are usually the ones who say “no”.
I was thinking that “Yes Day” also applies to negotiations with adults. We are conditioned to say “no” to any idea or suggestion that another person makes to us. We almost automatically say no to an idea that is not ours. In some ways “no” is so much easier to say than “yes” and that continues throughout our lives. Why is that? Is it easier to use one of the 34 “no” excuses? The people in the “Yes Book” seem to enjoy staying up late, having food fights, and piggyback riding. Maybe we could have more fun saying “yes” more often and we’re missing out on saying “no” all the time.
In an adult negotiation, you may surprise the other party by saying “yes.” You may catch them off guard, as we generally expect an argument. What are we afraid of? Is there any commitment to say “yes”? Do we hesitate to agree to try something new? Do we think we look weak? Do we think we are the only ones with good ideas? That reminds me of the pillow I saw recently that says, “I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas!”
If you don’t want to be perceived as “giving in,” you can always say we’ll try it this time or run a pilot program to see if it works.
Try having a “Yes Day” and see where it takes you!
Let me know if it works.