You are not alone, everyone faces challenges
Since time immemorial, people have been looking for leaders to follow. We put people on pedestals as model citizens and try to be as “perfect” as they are.
Today we still look for those people among us, the mortal mothers. You know, the ones with no secrets, nothing to hide, no vices to overcome, no regrets, and nothing to be ashamed of. The rare specimen who can’t go wrong and doesn’t have a bad day or trouble. At least, nowhere near what you might be going through or what you’ve been through.
Like most people, I have looked for someone like this at some point. I wanted to ask him or her to step forward and let everyone know of her existence, and be recognized as the living example for the world to follow. A template for the impeccable human being. Someone who was not a mythical character from a story from the past or a character from the future, but a human being who lives and breathes now. The reality is, however, that such a person did not exist. Regardless of how good some people seem, everyone has at least one thing they’re struggling with at any given time and they also make big mistakes.
Many of us end up feeling let down and disillusioned when the people we idolize slip up and show that they are, in fact, prone to lapses in judgment.
So how can you learn if the examples you’re looking for are basically the same?
The only way to learn is to live, and to live is to go through joys and pains, ups and downs, triumphs and setbacks, mistakes and corrections, births and deaths. Life is like a pendulum that swings back and forth. There will always be ebbs and flows. You can also see life as a movie. In most good movies, the main character usually goes through hell. Despite falling down sometimes, they never stop or give up. They eventually figure out a way to get past the villain or obstacle and come out better in the end.
That said, everyone alive has faced regret, suffered great loss, felt deep sadness, experienced illness, and encountered other hardships at different times in their lives. Even babies who are learning to walk fall many times. The important thing is that they always get up until they achieve it.
Life will always throw curveballs at you, the key is to prepare yourself mentally. One of my favorite authors once said:
“You fell yesterday! You sinned grievously! Having realized this, leave it instantly and forever, and be careful not to sin now. As you mourn the past, every door of your soul remains unprotected from the entrance of sin now. You will not get up grieving for the irremediable past, but remedying the present.
This quote is from the book “The Celestial Life”, written by James Allen, and it is one of the quotes I live by. What he’s basically saying is that crying over spilled milk doesn’t help get the milk back. The best thing is to learn from what happened, so next time we will be careful not to spill the milk again. In essence, that is what learning is. Self-improvement is an ongoing process, it never ends until you decide you don’t want to improve or until you die.
Don’t be too hard on yourself
There have been so many times where I said and did things that I shouldn’t have done. In some cases, it would have been better to have remained silent. Although, it is not possible for me to go back in time and take back everything I said or did. Looking back on those times, all I can say is that I was ignorant and stupid. But I learned from those experiences, even if they left me with what I now call life scars.
As humans, we can be quick to judge and belittle others who might have made mistakes. However, we become less critical when we realize that everyone is going through or has gone through challenging experiences. Our stories may be different, but we all face similar struggles. The difference comes down to the decisions we make in managing those challenges.
the movie of life
As I mentioned earlier, life is like a movie. We are the main characters in our own movies. My film, so far, has been about a lot of losses, like the loss of a father, a daughter, my grandparents, a few friends, a couple of co-workers, a pet, and fellow soldiers. I’ve lost jobs, jewelry I was romantically attached to, games and competitions I competed and trained in, and I’ve also lost fights. I even lost my mind once. I have failed many times, including the tests I studied for, but I did not quit.
On the other hand, I have gained a lot, including new friends, a new grandson, a new pet, and new jewelry. I also traveled to many new places, won fights, won games, passed exams, and got my mind back. As the movie of my life continues, I hope there will be more sadness and happiness, pain and pleasure, ups and downs. It’s all part of the script.
A little secret that has kept me going.
If you really want to see the truth about life, watch nature shows. Nature has no time for feelings. Nature’s concern is about survival by carrying on her kind, rather than mourning what is dead and gone. One of the things I have learned from nature is to keep going and not give up despite what is happening. Giving up means assured death.
Another quote that I have come to appreciate is this gem from Tim Hansel:
“Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. We can’t avoid pain, but we can avoid joy.”
I think that to succeed in life, one has to understand that life is what it is. Do not complain about the deck of cards that life has given you. Instead, hoard the cards you’ve been dealt and try to make the best game possible. Oh yes, you can also consider life as a game. But you have to be in it to win it.
In short, don’t live in the past, look ahead and not in the rearview mirror. He understands that you are not alone, because everyone faces difficult challenges, whether you know it or not.