Be yourself, respect yourself and do what you can
Finding time to savor a bit of quiet as the old year ends and the new one is about to begin is a wonderful gift to give yourself.
Yesterday afternoon, as the waning sunlight polished the golden winter treetops outside my window, I was doing just that. Enjoying the twilight moment, I started to clear out some files on the shelf behind my desk and found three quotes that I had saved to use someday.
“What better day than now!” I thought… so here they are:
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who care don’t matter and those who matter don’t care. doctor seuss
Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. Abraham Joshua Heschel
I am only one; but I am still one. I can’t do everything, but I can still do something. I will not refuse to do something that I can do. Helen Keller
What a rich smorgasbord of wisdom to ponder and carry into a new year, or a new day, for that matter! And I was interested to note that each idea is related to limits. Boundaries are one of my favorite time management topics.
But what do these quotes have to do with boundaries?
Well, what I would say is that the more comfortable you are with your boundaries, the more comfortable and confident you will be in sharing yourself, your ideas, and your feelings with other people. That’s because when you have good, strong boundaries, you know you’re okay no matter what.
So when your boundaries are strong and clear, you know, in your bones, that another person’s feelings or opinions about you are yours And it doesn’t really say anything about you. Confident in yourself, you can share authentically and allow others to have space to share in the same way.
Not only that, but what you say yes and what you say no determines how you spend your time. And these no and yes are limits. Saying no to one thing allows you to focus more fully on another. This is a boundary-setting skill that is critical to the success of your time.
Ultimately, boundaries tell you where you end and the other person begins. You are one, and only one. Knowing this helps empower you to do what you want. they can do no matter what.
It is a mistake to think of limits as barriers. Actually, knowing yourself and your boundaries frees you up to focus productively on the time you have and to relate much more openly…it’s the heart-based way!